Happy Sweet 16!!!

 Dear Izzy,

Happy Sweet 16 to my best girl. Gone are the days of tutus (except on school spirit days), princesses and American Girl dolls (but you will always be daddy's princess and my Bitty Baby), and a room full of stuffed animals (well maybe a Jelly Cat or two). Hello to the days of studying in 10th grade, playing Varsity Field Hockey, volunteering your time at church, driving me around as you practice your skills, collecting of lip gloss and jewelry, painting your nails and creating with watercolors, sitting with friends at the kitchen island talking about the night before, and hanging out with one blue eyed boy.

We have had so many good times this past year... ringing in New Year's in Turks with family, our "party of 5" going to Siesta Key for Spring Break, seeing Zach Bryan on dad's birthday and Morgan Wallen in the pouring rain, celebrating your Confirmation with Alex as your sponsor.  I love all these memories but nothing beats being "BeachWalkers" in Ocean City. Fourth of July with Alex's buddies and your girls, going shopping and our breakfast runs to High Tide, sunset with Gabe, the kids and TJ, and of course the last week hanging out with the family, having a week long sleepover with cousins, and laughing until we cried (mostly because we agree Jake is the funniest person ever). 

I am in awe of the young woman you are, and I love being your mom. You are beautiful inside and out. Your smile lights up a room. People sometimes describe you as quiet, but when you speak, you do so with intention, wisdom and humor. Being able to be still in your thoughts makes you a good listener, and we all turn to you for advice and sometimes a reality check. Keep being exactly you, because you, my daughter, have so much good in your heart and dad and I are so blessed to be your parents. And your brothers are beyond lucky to have you as their sister and friend.

I pray for my kids all the time. As you three grow and change, so do my prayers. I wrote this prayer for Alex when he turned sixteen, and now I will pray these words for you this year.

I pray for you to always be kind and use the gifts God has given you for good and service to others. I pray that God keeps you safe when you are behind the wheel. I pray you make good choices, and when you make mistakes, you learn from them. I pray that you always find joy in life even on the tough days. 

I love you my sweet (sixteen) girl,

Mom

Happy 12th Birthday!!

Dear Zach, 

Happy 12th birthday to my baby boy! One more year until you are a teenager, but in many ways you already act like one. You love to stay up late, play video games, hang out with Alex and his friends, and argue for the sake of arguing. 

The highlight of this past year was when we surprised you with a trip to Universal Studios. We picked you up from school and headed to the airport. We spent three days in the parks from open to close. You guys rode every roller coaster and I even went on some rides too. We had the best weekend. You ask to go back at least once a week. 

You are in middle school this year! Middle school at Gilman is one of the coolest places (says me, a former teacher). You love switching classes and how fast the day seems to go. You may forget a book now and then or get to Language Arts class a few minutes late (traffic!) but you are getting straight A’s and always get your homework done. Your teachers have nothing but good things to say about you. 

You have lots of friends and Izzy’s and Alex’s friends all treat you like a little brother. It makes me smile every time someone sees you and says “Ziggy!” because everyone knows you and loves you.  Your bond with Stella is as strong as ever, and I love that she is one of your best friends! Every boy needs a girl best friend. 

You are so easy to love. You are funny, kind, loyal, and quick witted. And that mischievous smile of yours is contagious. Your inappropriate jokes and use of curse words gets you in trouble, but as a third child, I admit you get away with too much. But I know when push comes to shove, you make the right choices and stand up for others. But you also know when to walk away from a fight, not because you are scared of confrontation, but because I have taught you it is usually the person who reacts that loses. Being the bigger person is always a sure way to win! 

Besides playing video games (too many video games), you play lacrosse and flag football. You also started wrestling. It is not an easy sport and takes a lot of mental grit, not to mention physical stamina. It isn’t easy  to get back up, but you do. And we are proud of you for trying something new and difficult. 

Cheers to you my sweet boy! Have the happiest day and the best year ever. 

I love you more, 

Mom

Happy 18th Birthday!

 November 1, 2023

Dear Alex,

I have been writing letters to you since before you were born. For 18 years, I have expressed my love, pride, and hopes for you through these letters. I can’t believe I am writing a letter for you to read at your Senior Retreat. 

When I picture you in my mind, I see a baby with fat cheeks and huge brown eyes. I see a toddler in a Spiderman costume. I see a boy playing in the ocean, shooting hoops in the driveway, and doing flips on the trampoline. But now when I look at you, I see an amazing young man. One who is a good friend, a capable and diligent student, and a loyal and loving son and big brother who truly lives by the motto Family First. And if you ever doubt yourself, take a moment to see yourself through my eyes, and you will be reminded that you truly are a gift to this world. 

It has been a busy fall of essay writing and submitting applications. I know you are anxiously awaiting decisions as you get ready for the next stage of your life, but promise me that you will enjoy your Senior Year. The past 6+ years at Gilman have been a time of change, challenges and accomplishments. Celebrate each of these and the experiences yet to come as you approach graduation.

One more request, and I know this may sound cheesy, but cherish the moments you have with us, your family, this year. Because no matter where you land next fall, we will always be your home. So promise to save us some Friday nights for Family Movie Nights!

I love you with all my heart 💗,

Mom

….to be continued on your 18th birthday

December 10, 2023

Alex, 

The above letter was a surprise and was read to you at your Senior Retreat. And while the letter itself may have been a surprise, I am sure my words were not. You know how much I love you. Actually, you know that I love you, but I don’t think you could ever really know how much. Over 18 years of letters and I never could truly put into words just how much my heart loves you. 

The moment you made me a mom, I knew I would never be the same. It was as if my purpose for living was made clear to me. In those early morning hours of December 10, 2005, I knew that you would forever be “my person.” And now in what feels like a blink of an eye, here we are, 18 years later. And I am so proud.

Even though you are 18 and all grown up, I will always be your mom. You will always be my baby boy. I am here for you forever. But I hope, in some ways, I have done my job and given you the tools you need to go out into this world and make it a better place. And if you ever falter, just remember Gilman’s motto “in tuo lumine lumen.” Always know that in your light, we see the light. You are the light of my life, and now is your time to shine that light for the world to see. 

I could never love another human more,

Mom

Happy 15th Birthday!

 Dear Izzy, 

Happy 15th birthday! I say it every year, but I can’t believe it! Time is going by too quickly. It feels like yesterday we were celebrating your third birthday with a tea party or your tenth with a sleepover. This weekend we will celebrate with family brunch and a Morgan Wallen concert! 

This week you started high school, and I am so excited for you. You are going to be challenged and endless opportunities are going to be at your fingertips over the next four years. You are playing JV field hockey and got voted team captain. And I love that you and Alex have back to back classes with the same teacher for Computer Science and you get to see each other during the day. 

We went on some great trips this year. Key West for New Year’s, Universal Studios for President’s weekend, college tours with Alex for Spring break, and the beach. After the lacrosse season ended we headed to the beach for a month. I loved spending time with you at our favorite place. 

As much as I miss that little curly-haired girl, I love watching you as you grow into a beautiful young woman. You have become more independent and reserved. Your reserved nature makes you introspective, thoughtful, and you tend to sit back and observe the world around you before putting yourself out there. Maybe you are a little shy and maybe you are scared of being hurt by others, but know that everyone in this world would be lucky to have you shine your beautiful light on them. 

I know this time of your life is a time of learning, change, and a quest for freedom. As your mom, I will try to respect your need to pave your own way. But believe it or not, there will be times when you will need guidance and advice, so know that I’m always here for you. There is nothing in this world you can’t tell me. I will be here for you cheering you on and encouraging you for all of your life. No matter how old you get, you will always be my sunshine, my best girl. 

I love you,

Mom

Happy 11th Birthday

Dear Zachary,

Happy 11th birthday to my baby. I am so sorry that I’m not home to celebrate. But I know your grandparents and brother and sister will spoil you today. And I promise to make it up to you. Just wait and see😉. 

I can’t believe you are in 5th grade. You are doing so well in school, and I am so impressed with your work ethic and your effort. When you make mistakes and are given the chance to make corrections, you always do, even if that means extra homework or raising your grade from a 96% to a 97%. You also have had some cool successes outside of the classroom. You auditioned and made the Treble T’s choral group, and you made the travel basketball team this year. You are also playing lacrosse and flag football. You are hoping to play tackle football in middle school. You enjoy “working out” with dad in the basement and shooting hoops in the driveway with Alex and Izzy. You love to play football at recess with your buddies. 

This year we went on trips to Turks and Caicos, UNC and Key West. We spent lots of time this summer at the pool and the beach. You love being in the water and fishing too. 

I love you so much, and I’m pretty sure I’m still your favorite person in the world. I don’t know how long that will be the case, but I am relishing every minute. I love the loyalty you have for your whole family. You are the youngest in our family of five, but in some ways you seem like an older brother. You are always looking out for your brother and sister, and you love picking on them too. You are a best friend to Stella and a great big cousin to Scarlett and Chris. You are sweet to your grandparents and aunts and uncles. You can tease like the best of us , and that evil grin and your love for inappropriate jokes always manage to get a laugh. You think you are a teenager and always want to hang with the teenagers in our family and with Alex’s friends. Over Christmas break, Jake and Luke spent the night and nothing made me happier than the midnight nerf battle. There was no doubt that you and Jake were going to beat Luke and Alex 😜. 

You still give the best hugs. Now when you hug me, you are almost as tall as me. It won’t be long until I’m officially the shortest person in our family. But you know what I’m going to say next, no matter how tall you are or how many birthdays you have, you will always be my baby. 

 

I love you so very much,

Mom

Happy 17th Birthday!

 Dear Alex, 

Happy 17th Birthday! Being a mom has been the biggest joy of my life. But the fact that every year seems to go by a little faster than the last, makes me wish for time to slow down. To be completely honest, if I found a genie's lamp, I would trade my three wishes for one, to go back to December 10, 2005 and live every minute all over again! 

You finished 10th grade with amazing grades, and this summer you got your license and off you drove to your first job as a lifeguard. 

I can't believe you are a Junior in high school, driving your brother and sister to school, taking the SAT's, and starting the college search to find the next place you will call home. You are a Peer Educator for 9th graders, a mentor to a student in lower school, and you tutored in the Bridges program. You spend your evenings playing basketball, lifting weights, studying and watching every show on Netflix. On the weekends, you are usually hanging out with your friends at dances, parties, or in our basement. 

Here are some things I want you to remember. They will serve you well now and as an adult, which technically will happen in 364 days. 

1. Look people in the eye when you speak to them. Be a good friend. Say you are sorry when you are wrong. Apologizing is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of self-awareness and strength. 

2. Trust your gut when it comes to decision-making. In the words of Jiminy Cricket, "Always let conscience be your guide." If you you are ever unsure of what to do, think to yourself, "What would my mom want me to do?" You know I would never lead you astray, so always think of me as your moral compass. And know, no matter what, you can call me any time of the day or night. (I think you and your friends already know this one).

3. Family is everything. Take care of your sister. Be a role model for your brother. Talk to your dad. Respect your mama. Spend time with your grandparents. 

4. There are going to be moments that make you feel invincible and it will feel amazing… embrace those moments...but promise me you’ll remember that you are mortal. Testing limits is okay, but some boundaries are there for a reason.

5. Be friends with girls. Make them laugh. Be respectful and genuine. Talk to them and listen to them. I promise when you are in a relationship these things will matter, because being friends with, and truly liking the person you love, is a vital part of being a good partner.

6. Not everyone was raised the way that you were. Your roots were planted to ground you. But you were raised to go out into the world and live a good, meaningful life. Wherever life takes you, remember the four of us will always be your home. 

7. I will be here for you. Things change, but I will always be your constant. That was a promise I made when I first held you on that cold December morning when it was just you and me in that hospital room, and one I will keep for my whole life. 

                                                                                     

I love you so much,

Mom

PS- Thanks for being my best friend on Snapchat. Your snaps during the day always make me so happy (well most of them, anyway😜).

                                                              

(idea for my "7 things" inspired by article "Dear Son at 16, These Are 25 Truths I Want You to Know" by Mehr Lee, Grown and Flown).

Happy 14th Birthday!

 Dear Izzy, 

Happy 14th Birthday.  This year you will take your Seminar class and find your “Voice and Vision.”  All the parents were asked to write a letter to their daughters by today…your birthday. Good timing, since I always write a letter for your birthday! I love you so much!  You are my best girl!!! 

I know that I am your mom, but I look up to you. I strive to be more like you. I have said it since you were a baby, “you are inherently you.” Even as a little girl, you knew who you were, what you wanted, and how to get it. As beautiful as you are on the outside, you are even more beautiful on the inside. I admire your drive, your determination, your ability to love others but also love yourself. The start of the teenage years haven’t been the easiest. You are not one to put up with drama, and I love that about you, but unfortunately drama is a key component of being a teenager. I know sometimes it is hard for you to “put yourself out there” and to trust your amazingness, but I am so proud of you for doing it, even if you get hurt in the process. You are able to stand up for yourself in a way that exudes strength and grace. Keep being true to yourself, because you shine a light into this world that is so very needed. And those that deserve to have your light brighten their days will find their way to you.

You have a strong moral compass of integrity, loyalty and excellence. Follow it all the days of your life, and you will always be headed in the right direction. Zachary would tell you that integrity is “doing the right thing even when no one is watching.”  That isn’t to say you never are going to break a rule or make a mistake, but you know right from wrong and live your life in a way that shows integrity every single day. Your loyalty to your family is commendable. You are the glue that holds this family together. We all have a tremendous amount of respect for you, because you are the one who acts with kindness, reason and sometimes a bit of tough love. You strive for excellence in all that you do.  You always give your best effort in the classroom, on the field, and in our home.

When I think about your “voice and vision,” I think about all of the art you have created over the years. The beautiful paintings, cards, and drawings that you have given as gifts to those you love, are true acts of love. The creativeness and thoughtfulness that has gone into each one is a testament of your love for each person. Your imagination and innovation are also demonstrated in your school work and projects. You put your best effort into everything that you create.

You may not realize it, but you are a leader. In school, you are a quiet leader. On the field, you are an exuberant leader. At home, you are a cheerleader.  You are still learning and discovering who you are, but I already know you. I know what you are capable of achieving.  Once you learn to see yourself through my eyes and the eyes of everyone who truly sees you, you will be unstoppable. 

My dear sweet, wonderful girl.  I can’t wait to sit back and watch and say, “I told you, Izzy. Mom IS always right!”

Love you most, 

Mom

Happy 10th Birthday, Zachary

 Dear Zachary,

Happy 10th Birthday to you.  A whole decade of Zachary!   Maybe it is because you are my youngest, but  I often have to remind myself that you are no longer a toddler. You are growing up but, in my heart you will always be my baby. You are a Momma's Boy, my little protector, my snuggle buddy. I hope it will never change. 

Zachary's Top Ten 

10. You love family trips. This year we went to Turks and Florida.  You swam in Grace Bay, the pools and went on the waterslides. You went fishing in the Keys and caught the most fish and the biggest.  You rode a jetski with dad.

9. You swam on swim team this summer for the first time.  You play basketball, flag football and lacrosse.  You love to workout with dad in the basement.

8. You are doing well in 4th grade.  It is a fun year for me, because it brings back memories of my teaching days. You have great friends in school and an awesome teacher who is a Gilman graduate!  You and Grayson are still best buds!

7. You spent a lot of time at the beach this summer.  You went swimming and to the park. You ate crabs,  açaí bowls and ice cream. You spent tons of money at the arcade and took home even more junk, I mean prizes!  Bonfires and fireworks on the beach were your favorite.

6. You like to read, especially graphic novels and the Diary of the Wimpy Kid series. But you love video games and your Ipad a little more 😉.

5. You love french fries, pumpkin muffins, steamed crabs, popcorn and pizza bagels. And this year for your birthday, you asked for old bay wings and coconut cake!

4. You are a wonderful artist.  You enjoy drawing comics and superheroes. I am always impressed with your artwork. 

3. You are my wild child.  You are the one who bends, and sometimes breaks, the rules. As a rule follower myself, sometimes your "no fear" approach to life drives me crazy, but I also know that it will take you far in life.  There is a quote that reminds me of you, "Strong-willed children grow into strong-willed adults who become world leaders, world shapers, and world changers..." I believe in you, Zachary. 

2. You have a personality that is larger than life.  You love to sing. You want to be an actor when you grow up.  You love attention and aren't afraid to do just about anything to get it. Making people laugh is your main goal in life.  

1. You have a heart of gold.  You love your family.  You are a loyal friend.  You say, "I'm sorry," when you are wrong. You are a conscientious student. You love fiercely and you aren't afraid to say it and show it! You have the absolute best smile.  When you smile, it lights up the whole world.  I love you so very much.  And I never doubt you love me too!

I hope all your birthday wishes come true.

Love, Mom

 

Happy 16th Birthday!

 Dear Alex,

Happy Sweet 16! I think for a mom a son’s 16th birthday is better described as bittersweet. I miss my baby boy and  kissing those chubby cheeks, playing Superheroes, and taking you to My Gym. But it has been such a joy (mostly) watching  you grow into a loyal, smart, and funny young man. Our relationship has changed over the past few years, but I know you know that I am and always will be your person. The person who will cheer the loudest, have your back, call you out, and always be there when you need to vent or when you don’t want to say a word but just need someone to be present. (Even though you always call me weird) I’m not naive. I know you don’t tell me everything, but I feel so lucky that you feel like you can talk to me. And you can!  I am here for you NO MATTER WHAT!  

I love that you and Izzy have found your friendship again. As little ones, you two had the closet relationship and then for a few years you were too cool for your little sister. Over the past year, you have remembered just how awesome she is and how she will always be your biggest fan. She told me many times how happy she is to have you as her big brother and her friend. As a mom, I couldn’t ask for anything better. And Zach. I never thought with six years between you that you guys would fight, but you do. But it isn’t all arguing and teasing between. I see him laughing at silly (and probably inappropriate) TikTok’s with you and showing you his drawings because he wants your approval. I love how you and your friends make him feel like he is famous when you see him in school. I know he drives you crazy at times, but remember he looks up to you, and as the big brother you have to be a good role model and lead by example. He is watching everything you do. Being the oldest is a tough and important job, believe me, I know. But your loyal, kind heart makes you the perfect guy for the job. 

 

I could go on and on about how proud I am, how much I love you, how lucky I am to be your mom, but I have learned that when your son is a teenager sometimes less is more. 

So I will end with my prayer for you this year. 

I pray that you are always kind and use the gifts God has given you for good and service to others. I pray that God keeps you safe when you are behind the wheel. I pray you make good choices, and when you make mistakes, you learn from them. I pray that you always find joy in life even on the tough days!

I love you, my #1.

Mom

P

Happy 13th Izzy

Dear Izzy, 

Happy 13th birthday. I cannot believe that you are thirteen. It feels like only yesterday that I was welcoming my brand new baby girl into this world. And now you’re a teenager. You are all legs - I’m so jealous of those legs. You are several inches taller than me now. And that smile of yours can light up a room and is even more beautiful now that you have your braces off! Over the years your style has changed from tutus and dresses to athletic wear to now tank tops and little skirts with some Lululemon thrown into the mix. I feel like you have grown up this year right before my eyes. 

 

Sixth grade went by in a flash. School was different last year. You were assigned to a pod and the phrase of the year was “social distancing.” You took it in stride and you and the rest of Pod 6-3 made it fun. Your grades were stellar. You were given the opportunity to take a pre-algebra course over the summer in order to get into the honors math track. I left the decision up to you, and you chose to push yourself and it paid off. You were placed in advanced math. I’m so proud that you took on the challenge even though it meant going to school in the summer and doing lots of homework. Your drive and willingness to go the extra mile will take you far in this world. This summer you also played lots of lacrosse and field hockey, spent weeks at the beach, shopped and shopped some more, and completed Junior Life Guard camp.

And in true Izzy fashion we have had so much fun over the last few weeks celebrating this milestone birthday. It started with going to see our favorite singer, Luke Bryan, with Michelle. 

 

Then we went on a girls’ trip with Kaitlyn to the beach. We went to all your favorite stores and restaurants. And of course we spent lots of time at the beach and pool. 

And last night, I made you your favorite Italian dinner and we put thirteen candles in your strawberry shortcake.  

Today you started 7th grade. I’m hoping and praying for a more normal school year for you. No matter what the years brings, I can’t wait to see all the amazing things you do!!  

Be the light. Be the joy. Be the good. This crazy world needs you and is a better place with you in it. 

I love you.  Mom