Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Happy Tenth Birthday, Alexander

Dear Alex,

When you were born and in those days and weeks that followed, I cried everyday.  I didn't want you to be three days old, or a week, or a month.  I don't know how to explain it, but I was so unimaginably in love with you and so happy to be your mommy, I wanted to freeze time in that exact moment because I couldn't stand the thought of each perfect moment with you passing.

And now look at what has happened.  I blinked my eyes and ten whole years have passed.  Ten years of loving you so much that at times I felt my heart would burst. Ten years of watching you grow from that chubby little baby to this tall boy who is almost as big as me.  When I give you a hug, you can look me in the eye and put your head on my shoulder. I remember holding you and rocking you every night as an infant, your head on my shoulder, those same big, brown eyes looking up at me. Just you and me in your nursery on Snowberry Court.  It feels like forever ago, yet I have no idea where the time went.

You are a good boy, Alex.  Not a perfect boy, although I think you are pretty close to it.  You are kind and thoughtful.  A tad impatient. You get easily frustrated when things don't go your way.  But you are a diligent student and a nice friend.  This year at your conference your teacher called you "teacher's dream."  You continue to put forth effort and you excel.  When it comes to your learning are mature and invested in a way that cannot be taught.  This will take you far in life, as will the fact that you live your life being kind and empathetic to others. You are a team player in sports and in life.  You know when to lead and you know when to support those around you whether it be helping someone up on the lacrosse field or giving a word of encouragement to a friend.

You live each day to the fullest.  You are one busy kid, going to school each day, playing tennis, basketball, soccer and lacrosse at night and on weekends.  You love to spend time with your friends in your free time.  But for you, family always comes first.

You are the most wonderful son and big brother.  Being the oldest is a huge responsibility, one you do not take lightly.  You have the biggest heart, and Daddy and I are so blessed to have such a smart, loving son as a role model for Isabella and Zachary.

I knew I would have a hard time writing this letter, because you are too special of a kid for words. I could go on and on listing all the ways you are wonderful and how proud I am of you.  And maybe I'm a little biased. But I don't care.  You are my Number 1 and I will always be your biggest fan, your cheerleader, your advocate,  your momma. And as I sit here writing this letter, I keep looking over at you as you do your homework taking breaks to tease your sister, and I want to cry like I did when you were a baby, because I know this perfect moment, just like every moment of your life is fleeting.  As much as I want to freeze time, it is impossible. So like I did when you were a baby, I am going to memorize how you look, sound and act on this eve of your 10th birthday. And when I go to bed tonight, I will thank God for you like I do every night. May God bless you, because he has blessed me with the best gift in the world...you.

I love you so very much,
Momma