Happy 20th Birthday Alex

Happy 20th birthday, Alex. One of my greatest joys has been watching you grow into the smart, funny, loyal man that your are today. I can’t believe I have been a mom for two decades! 7,300 days of memories. To celebrate this milestone, I thought we could take a little walk down memory lane. 

1. You made me a mom twenty years ago today, and in that moment my purpose in this life was made clear. In the early morning of December 10, 2005, when it was just me and you in that hospital room, you stole my heart. I knew in that moment I would never be the same. That first year was one of the best of my life. You were the sweetest little guy, and I tried to savor each moment of our days together. I never even minded the sleepless nights. In those quiet moments I prayed for you to grow big and strong and happy.

2. When you were two, this was our bedtime prayer:

Mommy and Daddy: Please God,

Alex: bless my mommy and my daddy

Mommy and Daddy: and everyone who

Alex: loves me.

Mommy and Daddy: Help me to be

Alex: a good boy.

Mommy and Daddy: Please send me

Alex: a brother or a sister. Amen.

God must have been listening, because when you were two and nine months, you became a big brother. It was a role you took very seriously. From the moment she was born, you took on the role of her protector. People stopped me all the time and commented on the sweet interactions between the two of you. 

3. From an early age, I knew you were so smart and witty and had a silly sense of humor. I never knew what was going to come out of your mouth. I dubbed the funny things you said “Alex-isms.” There are many times in a day when you thought you were being funny when in reality you were not. Quite a few of these instances involved the words poop and pee. You always asked, "Mom is that funny?" And I would reply dryly and with a straight face, "Yes, it is hysterical." One day after this exchange, you said to me, "Mom. You know when something is funny and/or hysterical you are supposed to laugh…" (and that did make me laugh!)

4. When you were four, I was telling you the story of the night you were born and you said to me, "Mom. I don't want to get bigger. I'm scared to be big. I want to stay little." And I answered, "Me too, my sweet boy." I wanted you to stay little forever, but by the next morning you had already changed your mind about growing up. You said,  "Momma, it is okay if I get bigger, because I will always be your baby." 

5. On the night you were born, the waiting room was full of family! That night and every birthday since has always been a celebration of you. And on your fifth birthday, we had  a ROCK STAR party. Milkshake performed a concert in our basement. Dad is still talking about the confetti they threw all over the place. 

6. A month after you turned six, you became a big brother again. When Zach was a baby, I would bring him into your room to wake you up every morning.  He would climb all over you, and you would open your eyes and smile.  You were such a big helper with him.  You loved to read to him and play with him and make him laugh. 

7. In first grade,  you loved math and could read anything and everything.  Your teacher said you were so nice that the other kids would seek you out to be your partner in class. You were always a good friend, especially to all your cousins. Sleepovers with Jake and Luke were on repeat and still are to this day. Sandwiched between them, you were sometimes a mediator and always an audience. No one could make you laugh the way they could and still can. 

8. Even as a little boy, you always had a such a kind and empathetic heart. Once when we were in Disney World, a little girl was lost.  You were so worried about her finding her mom. You said to me, "Mom. You have to help her."  At night you hugged and kissed us goodnight and when we said, "May God bless you," you always said it back to us. 

9. At nine, you were a fun friend, a team player, and the heart of our family.  You always had a way of making those around you feel good about themselves. Your favorite day of the week was Friday, because that was  Family Movie Night.

10.  After ten years of watching you grow from that chubby little baby to a boy who was almost as tall as me, when I gave you a hug, you could look me in the eye and put your head on my shoulder.

11. You found a home at Gilman in sixth grade. We spent many nights and weekends studying at that dining room table. You would pace around the table as I would quiz you, and you would always say, “Ask me again, one more time,” until you got it right.

12. At twelve, you loved Chick-Fil-A and ate it several times a week. I would tease you that your blood type was Chick-Fil-A sauce.  Like most other tweens, your phone was an appendage. You loved snapchat, silly group texts with your buddies and watching funny videos.

13. The beginning of the teenage years. Taller than me. Braces off. For the first time since you were a toddler I found myself in a power struggle with you.  You wanted to do what you wanted to do, and I wasn’t ready to stop guiding you whether you wanted my advice or not. And although these changes were hard, I knew you had a good head on your shoulders. Your strong moral compass kept you  headed in the right direction.

14. We lived through a pandemic.  I was so proud of the way you were able to keep things in perspective, continue to do well in school, and stay close, laugh and have fun with your friends, even when you couldn’t  be together in person.

15. Welcome to Upper School. You spent your evenings playing basketball, lifting weights, studying and watching every show on Netflix. On the weekends, you could be found hanging out with your friends in our basement. 

16. First car, first job, first party. I think that 16th birthday party was the moment when our house  became "the house." The one where shoes were piled in the mudroom, where boys raided the coat closet so they could go out and play in the snow like little kids, where the Ravens games were watched, where poker tournaments were organized, where music blared from speakers after dances, and where late-night pizza was delivered. And now when you are home from college, your friends come in that mudroom door, give me a hug and head down the basement steps, and that is when my heart is most full.

17. You took your big brother role to school. You were a Peer Educator for 9th graders, a mentor to a student in lower school, and you tutored in the Bridges program. Even though you don’t always realize it, you are a born leader. You are wonderful with younger kids, patient and kind. Your little cousins look up to you. And so do Izzy and Zach, even though they might not always admit it.

18. You graduated from Gilman. As you walked across the stage, eighteen years of memories of watching your learn and grow went through my mind. Reading you books as a baby and a toddler and you asking for “another one.” And as you got older, you would come into my room at night to tell me you finished yet another book. I recalled many years of  teachers telling me that you were a diligent student who was invested in his learning. You excelled in your studies and your grades always reflected this effort and dedication. It was one of the proudest moments of my life. 

19. It was and is all about you and the U. You are in college now. For the first time in your life, you aren’t living at home. And as much as I miss you when you are at school, I am so excited for this opportunity for you to be independent and make new friends and have new experiences. And it is a great place to visit. And I know you know that even though we may be over 1000 miles apart, I am always right here anytime you need me. I will always be your home.

20. Today you are twenty years old. No longer a baby, or a kid, or a teenager. You just finished your first semester of Sophomore year of college. You are home for a month. I am so happy to have you home, because as I have been saying every December for the past twenty years, “All I Want for Christmas is You.”  

These memories are only a drop in the bucket of every memory of you that I will hold in my heart forever. I can only hope that what stays with you most is how fiercely, endlessly, and unconditionally I love you. Twenty years ago. Today. Tomorrow. Forever. 

I love you, 

Mom

Happy 17th Birthday, Izzy!

Happy Birthday 

 "my dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen." 

Dear Izzy,

Happy 17th Birthday to my best girl!

Seventeen years ago, on Labor Day, my world was forever changed in the best way. My wish came true—my daughter was born. When I look at you, I sometimes still see that little girl with the curls and the missing front tooth, but I also see the young woman you’ve become. You are beautiful inside and out—quiet at times, but never afraid to speak your mind. You are witty, smart, and determined. You are loyal to your friends and your family. You are, and always have been, the glue that holds us all together. You may argue with your brothers, but I know you are their biggest supporter and the one they go to when they need to talk. You are a Daddy’s girl—his Boo—and he would truly do anything to make you happy. I am so proud of you and so lucky to be your mom.

This year has been filled with firsts: your first State Championship in Field Hockey, your first car, your first (and second!) trip to South Beach, your first trip to California, getting your first class ring, your first time going through a drive-through and ordering by yourself, and your first time being a camp counselor. I love seeing your independence shine.

It has also been a year of favorites: Turks for New Year’s, family dinners, the Fourth of July on the beach with your friends, countless beach days with family, and of course ending with the best week of the summer—“Cousins in the Condo.”

And now, a junior in high school! Being born on September 1st, we could have sent you to Kindergarten when you turned five, but I’m so glad we didn’t. Your maturity and determination to succeed will serve you well in these last two years of high school and beyond. An added bonus is that I get two more years with you before I have to send you to college. Junior year is such an important year—your schedule and classes are challenging, but I have no doubt you will always put forth your best effort. And I know you’ll find the time to have fun too.   

Watching you grow up has been one of my greatest joys. I can't wait to see all the amazing things you do this year. And remember, you may not need me the way you once did as a little girl, but I’ll always be here for you. Forever. 

I love you so very much my Izzy Bizzy.

Mom

Happy 13th Birthday

 Dear Zachary,

Thirteen on the thirteenth!! It seems impossible that thirteen years ago today, I was on bedrest thinking I had another month to go until you were born. Little did I know that you would be ready to make your arrival that very night. That night we became a party of five. Some people don't like odd numbers, but I think five is the perfect number.  Five senses, five fingers, five toes, Joe Flacco's jersey number, and the number of people who make up our family. On that cold January night, you did what no one else in the world could do, you came into this world and made our family whole. I had my bookend boys and my girl in the middle. And I know I say it all the time, but time goes by too quickly. I blinked, and now you are a teenager. How is it possible, you were just a baby yesterday? 

 

This year our "party of five" took a trip to Siesta Key in March. We spent the summer at the beach and on the lacrosse fields, except for the (almost) two weeks you went to camp. (It is safe to day that camp will not be on your schedule this summer.) You started 7th grade this fall and are doing well in school. You still complain (every night) about homework. You played tackle football for Gilman, and your team had an undefeated season. You joined the youth group at church with Grayson and say it is your favorite part of the week. This winter we went to Turks for New Year's where you fished, snorkeled and discovered your love for surf and turf. You are on the wrestling team and halfway through the season, you are 4-0. Sometimes I have to shut my eyes when you wrestle, because I'm scared you are going to get hurt. But I always peek, because I am so impressed with your mental and physical toughness on the mat. It is a very difficult sport, but you are not one to back down just because something is tough! You are  playing lacrosse and just started Snowboarding.  And like most teenage boys I know, you are obsessed with video games, youtube, and your phone.

         

You aren't a fan of bedtimes, consequences, and following directions. You are a fan of bad words, talking back and arguing your point. You are impulsive and strong-willed and love to challenge us, but you are also always up for a challenge. You are determined, bright, and willing to go out of your comfort zone to try new things. You have a strong sense of self, aren't afraid to say what is on your mind, and you stand up for what you believe is right. You are loyal and loving and witty and give the best hugs!

And I know you are as tall as me now (and praying for that growth spurt soon), but you will always be my baby boy, my little love. I will always be here for you, to listen to you, to remind you to do your homework, to cheer for you on and off the field and mat. I love you so very much. And I'm going to do by best to hold onto these teenage years, even if they aren't the easiest, because I am truly going to miss this when you are all grown up.

I love you Zachary,

Mom