1 Month Old

Dear Zachary,

You are one month old today. This past month has gone by so quickly. We have had so many visitors – friends and family wanting to love on you! I don’t blame them. You are the most lovable, cuddly, little guy. There is nothing you like more than to snuggle up on my chest. And at night, I break “all the rules.” You wake up to nurse, and then I lay you right next to me to sleep. You love to be close. And I cannot bear to be away from you. You are my last baby. I am treasuring every second. I don’t mind for one minute having to get up with you in the middle of the night. This morning, I know I was supposed to fold the laundry, but I found myself cuddling on the sofa with you instead. I seem to do that every chance I get. I know these moments are fleeting. You have already grown so much in just one short month.

This month you had your first bath, you went to three family parties, and you realized your arms could move and reach out. You love to smile. At first you would smile as you drifted off to sleep. Now you smile when you are awake too. You have the most adorable open-mouthed smile. Even your eyes smile. You love when I sing to you, especially “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star." You lay on your gym mat and look in the mirror. You must be thinking, "Hey, that's a good looking kid." You love when Alex and Isabella talk to you. You stare right into their faces. At bedtime you lay in their beds and we read stories. Then you go back downstairs with me for more snuggle time.

You are still a sleepy boy, but now have several times a day where you are alert. You cry only a little bit, usually when I put you down. I pick you up and tell you it is going to be okay, and you sigh and look into my eyes. I hope you know I will do whatever I can to make sure you feel loved and safe everyday of your life.

Today we went to the doctor for your “1 Month Well Visit.” You weigh 9 lbs 8 oz and are 21.5 inches long. You are getting so big. I am so happy that you are thriving, but it is bittersweet. I am excited to watch you grow and continue to develop what I already see as a sweet, social personality, but on the other hand I would freeze time if I could. Never in my life have I wanted time to stop so badly. As a mother, I am in heaven. I can’t imagine that I could be happier than I am right now. I want Alex and Isabella to stay 6 and 3 and you to stay my newborn. Maybe it is because you are my last baby. Or maybe it is because you are the perfect little baby, but I want to hold you in my arms and have you nuzzle up on my neck for the rest of my life. I want to breathe in that sweet baby smell and touch that soft skin and kiss those chubby cheeks. So often these days I think of this poem when I tell myself, “I will put him down in just a few more minutes”…and then I don’t …

The cleaning and scrubbing
will wait till tomorrow,
for Children grow up,
as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs.
Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep......
~Author Unknown ~

I love you, my youngest, my heart.
Mommy