Sunday, December 9, 2007

Reflecting God's Light

I think I am in a state of shock! My little baby is going to be 2 tomorrow. I remember crying everyday for the first few weeks of his life, because he was 2 days old, then three days old and so on and so on. Now he is 730 days old. And although I can barely remember life without him, I can't believe he is turning 2. It is the strangest feeling. Two years ago tonight at this time, I was finally resting comfortably after being in labor all day long, thanks to a wonderful thing called an epidural. In a few hours, the doctor would come in and make the decision to deliver Baby Beynon via c-section. It was at that moment I felt relief and peace wash over me. Not just because I was worried about the many, many exhausted family members in the waiting room, but because I was finally going to get to feast my eyes on this little baby who I had been singing to, reading to, and loving for 9 months. As the doctor was performing the c-section, I looked at Jay and said, "I want to do this again someday!" And then a few minutes later at 2:45 am, Alex was born and it truly was the most amazing moment of my life. There really are no words to describe that feeling when the doctor said, "You have a son."

And tonight when I sang, "You Are My Sunshine" to him as I have since he was in my belly, I cried. I couldn't help myself. I was feeling so overwhelmed with love as the memories of his "birthday" came rushing in...I am so very proud to be Alex's mother. That brings me to the title of this entry ("finally!"you say). Today in church the priest was talking about how we can be a reflection of God's light. And I know that through the love I feel for my son, God's light is reflected each and every day. It is almost as though the love I feel for him radiates from my heart, and if you look closely you can see God's light shining forth in the miracle that is this smart, beautiful, independent child. God gave me the gift of motherhood and through my love for Alex I will spend my life thanking him and reflecting His light.

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