Flowers For You

Happy Birthday, Grandma.  I can't believe it has been 10 months since you went to heaven.  I still miss you everyday.  I don't think that will never change.  Sometimes I forget you are gone. It seems so unreal. I catch myself thinking, "Grandma will get a kick out of this when I tell her" or "Grandma will love this." And then I remember...

Yesterday, Jay cut all of the fresh flowers out of the garden.  Isabella and I brought this beautiful bouquet to you at the cemetery.  When we pulled up, she asked why were leaving the flowers there.  She said, "Grandma Mela isn't here. She lives in heaven on a star." I explained that yes you do.  But since we can't go to heaven to leave you flowers, we bring them there so you can look down and see them.  She thought that was cool. I left her in the car and put the flowers at your grave, and just as it does every time I go there, seeing your headstone brought me to my knees.   I stayed there for only a minute or two, stood up and dried my tears before I walked away.  I didn't want you to look down and see me sad because you died, I wanted you to see me honoring the day of your birth. 

When I got back in the car Isabella said, Grandma is an angel, and she has wings just like a butterfly. She flies all around heaven.  Sometimes I think she is over our house." 
I hope she knows what she is talking about, because I love the idea that you are close by watching over us.  I believe that you are...

Happy Birthday! 

I love you,

Your Firstborn